MPs were put firmly on the naughty step in PMQs yesterday.
Commons Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle was furious at his unruly class of politicians for being too noisy, rude and downright obnoxious in recent weeks.
Rishi Sunak and Sir Keir Starmer clashed on mortgages and the cost of living at Prime Minister’s Questions[/caption]
Commons Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle pleaded with MPs to exercise “self-restraint” in debates[/caption]
Wearing a billowing black gown and spectacles which made him look like a headteacher at an ultra strict 1950s boarding school, he gave them a firm tongue lashing.
“There has been an escalation of unhelpful exchanges and the attempted use of props”, he growled.
“Some of the language used has fallen short of standards.
“I know there is a general election approaching but I would urge members to exercise greater constraint!”
Sir Lindsay looked as though any minute now he might reach behind his desk and get out his cane.
Usually mischievous MPs hung their heads in shame. Some slipped their mobile phones away.
“Sorry Sir” they may as well have said.
Then up popped Sir Keir Starmer with his first question.
He asked about Tory MP George Freeman, who has recently claimed he had to pack in his job as a minister because the £120k salary wasnt enough to pay his mortgage.
Sir Keir said: “Nobody could fail to be moved by the plight for the member for mid Norfolk…After 14 years, have we finally discovered what they meant when they said ‘we’re all in this together.”
Hang on, was the usually sombre Sir Keir trying to play the school clown?
Labour MPs belly laughed a little too hard – grateful their leader had finally cracked a joke.
Across the aisle, Tory head girl Theresa May allowed herself a flicker of a smile.
But Mr Freeman was nowhere to be seen – perhaps he was off behind the bike sheds having a fag before Rishi Sunak bans them?
Keir and Rishi traded blows on the usual subjects. The Tories had “crashed the economy” Keir declared.
Labour would whack up taxes to pay for their barmy eco plans, Rishi jibed.
But the class was getting restless.
Roads minister Guy Opperman had got his phone out again and was tapping enthusiastically on it. Playing Candy Crush maybe?
Tories Tom Hunt and Jill Mortimer were giggling and sharing secret chats.
Jacob Rees-Mogg looked around sheepishly before sensing his moment and fleeing out the back door.
Former chief whip Wendy Morton was hot on his heels, her Thatcher-esque handbag nearly whacking her colleagues on the way out.
Finally the clock struck 1230pm and class – or what was left of it – was dismissed.
Not a moment too soon.
